by Jason Micheli
Acts 3.1-21 (click to see Scripture text)
July 5, 2005
Subject: Communion Etc.
Welcome to our wonderful church family! We met on Sunday morning. I was the “good-looking lady” with the Arkansas accent who, leaving church, asked you: “You’re not a Republican are you?!” I whispered it pretty quietly so I don’t why you didn’t answer me.
You probably noticed I didn’t “take communion” Sunday. The reason I didn’t was because I nearly choked on the piece of bread you gave me. It was large and had a lot of crust on it.
I should have gone ahead and dipped it in the wine and just kept it in my hand until I got to the pew, but then my hand would’ve been all sticky and who wants sticky hands? I might’ve had to shake a visitor’s hand after worship and then they would’ve thought I’m one of those terrible, disgusting people who have sweaty hands all the time. Gross.
I can’t helping wondering: do they not teach you in seminary how to break off smaller pieces for communion? Probably not, I guess. They obviously don’t teach you how to slow down and not talk so fast either. You’ll learn.
On another subject, I heard a minister yesterday on TV who I think was just great. The reason I was so impressed with him was because his message was about Religiosity vs. Spirituality. He quoted Joel 2:28 and emphasized the noun everyone and how God wants everyone to have an alive spirit.
His name was Joel Ostein, I think. You should look him up. I haven’t heard you preach yet but I bet you preach just like him.
Your new friend,
PS: Did your last church not have a problem with your earring?
October 13, 2005
Subject: Coffee with the Pastor
To follow up from last night’s Meet the Pastors Coffee- I most certainly did not purposely spill coffee on your “crotch” just because you told everyone how John Wesley (supposedly) was a terrible husband. I told you. It was an accident but, I will say, if I had done it on purpose you would’ve deserved it.
I’ve never even heard of this Barth person you’re always going on about. You’re supposed to be proud to be a United Methodist and there you were last night bad-mouthing the founder of United Methodism. I couldn’t believe it. I got so angry I could’ve…well, never mind.
And another thing, I did not roll my eyes at that new member when he said he worked for the House Republicans. Maybe I was a little rude to him but not rude enough that anyone would notice. You’ve got a lot of nerve accusing me of such things! Keep it up and I’ll bet you don’t last at this church more than a couple years.
May 22, 2006
Subject: Fall Commitment Campaign
I have decided to withdraw from the commitment campaign committee. I was so disappointed that the last meeting wasn’t more civil. It’s a shame that even in a church setting among Christians that people can’t value another’s opinions.
I just hate how some Christians gripe and gossip about other Christians.
I could tell you a thing or two about some of those complainers at the meeting. They’re the reason we’re in the mess we’re in with our debt and I heard one of them hardly even speaks to his wife. Maybe it’s because he knows she’s got someone else on the side (but you didn’t hear from that me).
Don’t worry I’ll still be in charge of the Meet the Pastor Coffee. Lord knows if I’m not you’ll never tell our new members about John Wesley or what it means to be a Methodist and then where would we be.
September 6, 2007
Subject: Communion Bread
Like I told you Sunday, I heard a lot of comments about the bread we had on Sunday for communion. It was sour dough and it just didn’t taste well with the wine. Think about it for gosh sakes: it’s called sour dough. Who wants to eat that?
I bet Jesus refuses to even make himself present in bread so disgusting. I hope you were joking when you said we could switch to wafers. This church will never go for wafers— we’re not Catholics! Next, you’ll be telling us to worship Mary and not read our bibles like Catholics.
September 9, 2008
When I was a social worker for Child Welfare in Little Rock, one day I came into to the office to bring a baby for adoption.
My boss looked at the way I was holding the baby and “got all over me” because she said that I should “cradle” a new born baby in my arms. She said a young baby can not hold up their head when they are so young and they could hurt their hearing if it tumbles over.
I thought of what my boss said yesterday watching you juggle that poor baby all over the place during the baptism.
Maybe you should practice a little using a doll baby.
Maybe I could find one at the Goodwill for you to use for practice. Not that I shop at the Goodwill myself (I imagine it smells like people who hastle you for handouts on the street) but I’d go to the Goodwill for you if you’d like me to look. Hope this is helpful.
November 11, 2009
I wish you had known my husband, Paul. I still have people coming up to me and saying how they miss him. He held about every position you could have in the church. He was fun and caring and a wonderful husband and father. He was a commander in the navy and was on three submarines.
Mostly though, I wish you’d known him because he was such a good Christian man. He was a better man than I deserved. Maybe you would think better of me if you could see how he thought I was better than I am.
Actually, I suppose he knew exactly who I am and loved me anyways. I guess that’s why you’re always going on about grace— Lord, sometimes I think you’ve only got one sermon in you but you’ve learned to preach it a hundred different ways. But when I think about Paul, I understand why maybe you do.
August 10, 2011
I told my niece this weekend how proud I was of our church for welcoming those Muslims from our neighborhood to worship in our fellowship hall. It’s a shame so many people left the church over the issue, and I’m sad that hardly any of them even bothered to talk with the pastors before they decided to leave.
Here’s something you didn’t know about me. A couple years ago, when we studied the Jesus Creed for the Church Wide Study, I started praying the Jesus Creed every morning and every night.
Every day, twice a day, sometimes more, I prayed to love God with all my mind, heart, soul, and strength and to love my neighbor as much as I love God.
I don’t think I would’ve been open to hosting the Muslims here if I hadn’t been praying the Jesus Creed. I think before I’d always prayed mostly for myself and my family. I wish more people had tried praying the Jesus Creed. If they had, then maybe they’d be more hospitable and open-minded.
While we’re on the subject of broadmindedness, I am a Democrat. You’ve never told me what you are. I don’t know why but a lot of young people these days are Republicans. If you are a Republican I will still write to you. See, I told you the Jesus had changed me!
December 11, 2011
You probably know- I’m volunteering to help with the Pictorial Directory for the church. How are you doing? Are you okay? The reason I ask is because I was looking at your picture in the old directory and your picture for the new directory and you look like you’ve gained a lot of weight. Especially in your face. Like a little baby angel. Ha!
There was a time when I probably would’ve said that to you differently without even thinking about how mean it would sound. I like to think I’m different than I was.
December 14, 2011
Where is it in Romans that Paul tells about how the Gentiles were “let in” to be loved by God even though they didn’t deserve it? I have down here that you told me Romans 9-11 but that doesn’t jive. My daughter-in-law doesn’t think the Jews will be saved and I told her you said they were saved.
Of course, the bigger point seems to be that God responds to us killing Jesus by giving Jesus right back to us so I don’t know why anyone would think God’s stingy with his grace.
I don’t know why but lately, more and more, I think about how I don’t deserve God’s grace. I’ve not always been a good or kind person. I’ve often been mean. I guess that’s why they call it Amazing Grace huh?
By the way, I hate it when you all make us sing all the verses of hymns like that. Good Lord, who can stand up for that long or huff and puff through seven verses!?
January 23, 2012
Subject: No Subject
After church, I went out to eat at Ruby Tuesdays with a bunch of women that usually goes over there after church They started talking about the election. After a while, I told them that I was a Democrat. Marguerite said, “Are you a liberal?” I said I wasn’t but I think I am. Then, someone—I won’t say who but she used to work at the church, I think you know who I mean— said, “All Democrats are liberals!”
I forgave her.
I really did forgive her too. It used to be that I wouldn’t have. You know what I thought about it afterwards? That life is too short to waste it on petty grudges. I don’t know if I thought that because I’m getting older or because I’m getting more Christian. What do you think, I wonder? Maybe we confuse holiness with getting older and no longer having the energy for some of our usual ways of sinning.
I just wish we had more Democrats in our church! If you ask me, the Republicans need to be in the Baptist Church.
February 6, 2012
Subject: New Members
A couple named Kelly and Joe Garr put down that they would like to join the church. I called her and come to find out she went to middle school, high school, and college with you! I asked her if you’re the same now as you were back then and she said no. She said you were nice back then but that you’re different too.
It got me thinking about what people who knew me way back when would say about me today?
Would they say I’m no different than I was?
It makes me really sad to think that maybe they would.
I can’t think of anything worse than to have gone to church your whole life and not end up a different person, can you? But if Jesus is not dead, as you’re constantly saying (you really should come up with some different turns of phrase), then it seems to me stupid to think that people can’t change. I hope he’s changed me. I suppose I’m about the last person who could judge such a thing.
April 6, 2012
I know you are busy with Easter things but this has been on my mind. When I’ve prayed before, I’ve always prayed to God not Jesus. I love Jesus and know he did so much for so many but I’ve always thought I needed to pray to God.
I’ve started to pray to Jesus lately like you do in church sometimes and you know what?
Praying to Jesus, like I’m talking directly to him, makes me a lot more conscious about being more like him, which makes me more conscious of how much I am not like him, which makes me more conscious of how gracious he must be to love someone like me.
It’s surprising how coming back to that, again and again, like a circle, has made such a difference to me. In me.
August 13, 2012
About an hour ago as I was driving down Ft. Hunt Rd. I saw a man I thought was “naked” like that man in Mark’s Gospel when Jesus is arrested— what an odd detail.
Anyways, I thought this man was naked but when I got closer I saw he just had a shirt off and some terrifically short shorts. When I saw that it was you, I whistled out my window. Did you know it was me?
You should be careful going around like that half-naked. There’s a lot of older women in our congregation who’ve been missing their men for a long time. Ha!
Lord, I hope you never mention that in a sermon!
My real point was to say that years ago seeing you like that, running around like a Chip n’ Dale would’ve irritated me something awful but instead I just laughed because I’ve grown to appreciate you. I guess that’s God’s grace.
April 3, 2013
About two weeks ago, Alan and Steve got a marriage license in D. C. They have to wait until this coming weekend to have the ceremony.
They’ve lived together as a married couple for ten years but they want to celebrate it publicly like any other couple gets to do, and they want to do it for legal protection.
I wish you were allowed to perform their wedding. If God’s love is unconditional for someone like me, then I believe it’s unconditional for a couple like them— they’re both better Christians than I’ve been in my life.
I’ve been a church person my whole life, but I feel like I’ve only been a Christian for the late part of my life.
I wish you were allowed to perform their wedding, but I also care about you too much to want you to get into trouble with the bishop. Lord knows you manage to do that plenty on your own.
Maybe you can just come to the ceremony as a guest?
April 7, 2013
I was just thinking. I bet it’s good to be a minister because you get to see for yourself how God really does change people and work in their lives. You get a front row seat. It must give you a pretty strong argument for how Jesus is a Living God, real and at work in people’s lives.
May 22, 2013
Subject: Les’s Funeral
You did a wonderful job with the funeral yesterday. In fact, I left praying that you’ll be the one to do my service. Funerals should be honest about how every Christian is a mixture of sinner and saint. You know better than most my ratio of those two qualities.
I think funerals can afford to be honest too because of how you put the Gospel one time in your sermon on the prodigal son. You said God says to us: “Nothing you do can make me love you more, and nothing you do can make me love you less.”
I’ve done plenty, I confess. Your precious boys make me regret every ignorant thing I ever said about Hispanics. I’ve never been racist, I don’t think, but ignorant? Probably. In ways you can’t even notice when you’ve grown when I did in a place like Arkansas. I wonder if that’s what is meant by original sin. You’re just born into sins like racism and you need God’s help to exorcise it from you.
February 10, 2015
Subject: Love You
I don’t know if you’re checking your email or not. I heard about your surgery and how it’s likely cancer.
I just left a message on your voicemail. I called the nurses station at the hospital too but they said they couldn’t connect me since I’m not family. I thought about telling them a thing or two about church family, but I worried if I was too pushy they’d take it out on you. I’m sure you’re hard enough to handle as a patient as it is.
Anyways, I wanted you to know I love you. I prayed for you tonight, and for Ali, and your beautiful boys.
February 5, 2016
Subject: Cancer Buddies
Who would’ve guessed that we’d end up getting cancer together at the same time? I’m down in Richmond now in a facility. It’s nice and near Alan and Steve, but I miss my church. I hope that before I die (and I know I’m dying) you can come visit me. In the past I would’ve been too vain to have anyone see me like this but I don’t care now. I guess that sounds like bragging doesn’t it? And that’s a sort of vanity too.
Being Christian never really gets easier does it?
I’d like to see you one last time when you’re able.
To see you, but also I’d like to confess my sins to you too before I go and even more I’d like to hear you tell me how God forgives me for all of them. Not because I don’t believe it but because believing it is what Christians share in common.
You think that’s why John Wesley said the “communion of saints” was his favorite part of the creed?
Have you seen those bumper stickers that say “God’s Not a Republican?”
Lord, I hope they’re not wrong.
You’re making a mistake if you think this beggar, who had been born blind but is now leaping for joy, is the sole miracle in the story.
When Peter and John walk past him at the Beautiful Gate on their way into the Temple to pray, Luke says that “Peter looked intently at the man.” Peter sees him.
Peter, who was always trying to hustle Jesus past the children and the poor who tried to come to Jesus.
Peter, who wanted to build three booths on the mountaintop in order to avoid the everyday inconvenience of those in need in the valley down below.
Peter, who ambled past the man born blind only to ask Jesus, “Lord, who sinned— this man or his Mom and Dad— that’s blind?”
Peter was blind, but now, Luke says, he sees.
Now Peter sees with the eyes of Jesus.
There’s more than one miracle in the story.
The cripple begs Peter for a handout.
Peter, who had been so miserly with mercy (Lord, how many times do we need to forgive? What’s the limit, the condition, the cut-off? Seven times enough?”).
But now, Peter answers this beggar’s plea by offering him something far greater. He gives him Jesus Christ himself, “In the name of Jesus Christ, stand up and walk!”
Immediately the man born lame leaps in the air to praise God.
But that’s not the only miracle.
And then, to the astonished onlookers, Peter preaches.
Peter, who last we heard in Luke’s Gospel was cowering in the shadows and lying that he ever heard of Jesus, boldly preaches. Don’t look at us, Peter preaches, we didn’t do anything. Jesus Christ did this. The name of Jesus Christ did this.
The name of God, scripture says, is the power of God.
“His name itself has made this man strong,” Peter says.
Jesus Christ— the grace of God made flesh— is present with his power in his name.
Annie Dillard says Christians would all wear crash helmets to church every Sunday if they understood the dynamite they’re handling in his name.
Wherever and whenever and however his name is proclaimed, he is present with all the power that creates out nothing, makes a way out of no way, and gives life to the dead.
Wherever and whenever and however his name is proclaimed, he is present, in the here and now, opening up blind eyes and guarded hearts and shut mouths.
Cana is not the only gathering where he turns water into wine.
If you deny the resurrection and insist that Jesus is dead, then you’re going to have to come up with an explanation for the Church.
As far as the Church is concerned, our argument is simple.
Shirley isn’t the only miracle.
Grace transforms people every day.
Therefore, Christ is Risen is indeed.
One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the hour of prayer, at three o’clock in the afternoon. And a man lame from birth was being carried in. People would lay him daily at the gate of the temple called the Beautiful Gate so that he could ask for alms from those entering the temple. When he saw Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked them for alms. Peter looked intently at him, as did John, and said, ‘Look at us.’ And he fixed his attention on them, expecting to receive something from them. But Peter said, ‘I have no silver or gold, but what I have I give you; in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth,*stand up and walk.’ And he took him by the right hand and raised him up; and immediately his feet and ankles were made strong. Jumping up, he stood and began to walk, and he entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God. All the people saw him walking and praising God, and they recognized him as the one who used to sit and ask for alms at the Beautiful Gate of the temple; and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.
While he clung to Peter and John, all the people ran together to them in the portico called Solomon’s Portico, utterly astonished. When Peter saw it, he addressed the people, ‘You Israelites,* why do you wonder at this, or why do you stare at us, as though by our own power or piety we had made him walk? The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, the God of our ancestors has glorified his servant* Jesus, whom you handed over and rejected in the presence of Pilate, though he had decided to release him. But you rejected the Holy and Righteous One and asked to have a murderer given to you, and you killed the Author of life, whom God raised from the dead. To this we are witnesses. And by faith in his name, his name itself has made this man strong, whom you see and know; and the faith that is through Jesus* has given him this perfect health in the presence of all of you.
‘And now, friends,* I know that you acted in ignorance, as did also your rulers. In this way God fulfilled what he had foretold through all the prophets, that his Messiah* would suffer. Repent therefore, and turn to God so that your sins may be wiped out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord
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